Never have I ever...been this delighted to watch a new, young celebrity-in-the-making

Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, not Mindy Kaling, drew me to watch the new teen Netflix series. And Maitreyi Ramakrishnan's charm, not Mindy Kaling's star, kept me glued to it. I am delighted that a seemingly down-to-earth, middle-class, Sri Lankan Tamil Canadian kid from Toronto is here to live out a Hollywood dream. It is easy to see why Maitreyi won the role over 15,000 other contenders -- she has a natural charm, is lively, spunky, and still disarmingly untouched by her own (healthy) ambition and early success. I love watching how Toronto celebrates her and am impressed by how well (how naturally) and lightly she wears her teen icon status. Her Tamil parents have raised her well, is all I can think.

I found the Devi character quite annoying -- I know, I am supposed to remember being a teen myself and also cut some slack given that Devi is experiencing a traumatic loss. Except for the loss of her father, Devi's story line is predictable: high achieving AND good looking South Asian kid with a physician parent; has an affinity for a high-achieving, well-off Jewish kid despite herself and their early rivalry, despite her attraction to a good-looking, non-stereotypically sensitive athlete. Come on! But the show, we are told, is based on Mindy Kaling's life. Kaling is lucky (alright, more than lucky, quite thorough actually) that she searched the world and found Maitreyi to play Devi for her and Poorna Jagannathan to play the mother. I certainly credit the full cast for my interest rather than the story and dialog itself.

The last episode of the first season, minus the drama, was my favorite episode of them all -- Nalini was more than a caricatured Indian American mother, an educated, liberal Indian woman. The trio of the women in the family reminded me of what I want for myself and my daughters -- relying on one another even when we each are different in our own ways.


Here are my kids' thoughts in their own words, uncensored, unedited:


I appreciate the effort that Never Have I Ever took to incorporate so much diversity; most of both the major and minor characters are minorities, especially Asian Americans. I also value the show’s decision to make Devi and her family be Tamil because I feel like the average American automatically associates an Indian person as a person who speaks Hindi. I liked that they show Devi’s family members speaking Tamil and eating Tamil food with their hands.

The show is entertaining, funny, and lively, while at the same time demonstrating the pain that people face. Although on the outside Devi often comes across as outgoing and comical, she is still going through a lot mentally and emotionally, what with the grief she faces from her father’s recent death, the shame she feels from having to be in a wheelchair even though she overcame her leg paralysis, and the struggles of trying to be popular and well-liked at school that she experiences. In a way, Ben, her academic rival, is much the same way going through internal pain though coming across as content. He always shows off to Devi and appears to be so proud of his academic success but in reality he is extremely lonely, always feels abandoned by his parents, and doesn’t have true friends to connect with (for the most part of the show). With these two dynamic characters, Never Have I Ever exposes the stigma of mental health problems that is especially common in high school.

-- Lekha Durai, May 24, 2020


I thought that Never Have I Ever was a pretty good show. It was entertaining and kept me really hooked while watching it, which is what a good show should do for viewers. It was also so cool to see Indian American representation in American media. I’m so used to watching shows like this, with a similar storyline, with a primarily white cast, so the diversity in the show was nice. It was really cool to see someone that looks like me represented on American television. Having said that, I do feel like the show had a few flaws. First of all, the dialogue was often poorly written. Some lines in the show were so cringey that they would never be spoken in real life. I think the script writers intended for these lines to be funny, but they just weren’t. 

Devi’s mom’s character confused me quite a bit throughout the show. She was supposed to come across as a typical, strict Indian mother, but she often had no reaction to things Devi and Kamala did. For example, she didn’t care when Devi stayed at Ben’s house. She didn’t know Ben or his parents very well, but she just let her daughter stay there all by herself for a week. Secondly, she had almost no reaction when she saw Kamala’s boyfriend in Kamala’s room the day they were meeting her potential husband. She even adds, nonchalantly, that she’d known about him all along. I’m excited for season two of this show to come out, but I hope that the script writers use the constructive criticism people have expressed about the show in the next season’s script.

-- Divya Durai, May 22, 2020


Never Have I Ever is a Netflix teen series created and written by Mindy Kaling. Narrated by John McEnroe, the show is from the perspective of the protagonist, Devi Vishwakumar (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan), a fifteen-year-old Indian-American girl. The plot highlights Devi’s struggles, which reflect those of many immigrant children. As a Tamil-Canadian living in America, I respect the historical significance of Kaling’s show. However, I would not recommend it; it is poorly written and unrealistic, and also has an unclear plot and mood.

Mindy Kaling is known for her writing; she has written for The Office and many books. However, Kaling did a poor job with writing Never Have I Ever— the dialogue is not authentic. If you watch the show, you’ll notice that the actors do an amazing job to make the dialogue seem authentic. But, many sentences—written by Kaling—still do not sound right. This is partly because Kaling tries too hard to put humor where it is not needed.

As an Indian-Canadian student in the U.S., I could not relate to Kaling’s depiction of high school. She centered the show’s high school on having different cliques that stereotype each other. That depiction is true to an extent, but far too many teen shows and movies have used and exaggerated it. Kaling’s depiction of high school may be true to her experiences as a teenager, but they do not hold for Gen-Z students like myself.

In Never Have I Ever, Devi struggles through the love-hate relationship she has with her immigrant mother. But she also has to figure how to handle her feelings for her crush, Paxton. She also stumbles in being there for her friends—Fabiola, who needs support as she realizes that she is gay, and Eleanor, who struggles in her relationship with her mother. But that’s not all—Devi’s cousin, Kamala, has to choose between her boyfriend and her family’s chosen groom. Also, Devi’s friend, Ben, has to find his way out of loneliness. And if that’s not enough, Devi’s mother Nalini, who misses her late husband, is reminded of memories of him. Clearly, Kaling did not create a clear plot that solves a main conflict. There is nothing wrong with a complicated plot, but it must be executed smoothly for a good story. And Kaling failed to center all of these unrelated conflicts into one central idea. And in the midst of all of these serious conflicts, Kaling tries to insert humor where it doesn’t fit. Humor is totally fine, but in Never Have I Ever, it creates an unsettled mood. Too often while watching the show, I wasn’t sure whether to feel sadness, anger, or humor. All of these unclear conflicts and moods produce an unclear purpose. After watching all of the episodes, I do not have a good answer to why Kaling created this show other than it gives cultural representation and makes money.

Never Have I Ever gives much deserved representation to minorities like myself, and it highlights many problems that many teenagers go through, from trying to fit in and be liked to trying to come out about your sexuality. But Kaling did not produce these ideas into a good show. The dialogue was written poorly; the plot, mood, and purpose was unclear; and the depiction of high school was unrealistic. The show is probably popular due to Kaling’s name and its historical significance, but it does not live up to valid expectations.

-- Rahul Durai, May 24, 2020

Short films that I enjoyed recently

I love cinema, especially world cinema. Netflix and online streaming options have opened up a new world of many possibilities. Here are a few recent ones that I've thoroughly enjoyed and wish that others will share my enthusiasm.


Irrfan Khan, a much-adored Indian actor who transcended the divides among different movie genres, died recently at a relatively young age. Several people, friends as well as online strangers, expressed what I was feeling: that we ache at his passing and grieve as if we knew him personally, even though we rarely feel this way about celebrities. For about a week, I walked around with a heavy heart, unable to shake my sadness on his behalf -- that life cheated him in his prime by taking him away. I watched a couple of movies on Netflix, looked for some YouTube clips, and searched for bits and pieces of his past on Google. And perhaps, because of this pattern, the all-seeing Big Brother of the online world recommended me the following on YouTube one morning as I was waking up. I cannot explain the immense sense of satisfaction and fulfillment I got from this artistic offering: the story-telling, the music, the acting. Best of all, Irrfan Khan.

Ek shaam ki mulakaat, via YouTube

 
I recently watched the Tamil movie 'Sethum aayiram pon' on Netflix. Almost documentary-like, the first half of the movie -- the life of the 'oppari' (professional mourner) woman in a village, the 'make-up' artists for the dead, the sassy young sidekick (played by Gabrella sellus) shattering all stereotypes of a timid Indian village woman, the estranged grand-daughter hard-boiled enough on her own to be self-sufficient, bold and independent in the city, the rivalry of a wife and a mistress playing out at the funeral -- all captivated me immensely. The story line of the second half meandered somewhat making it difficult for me to find the plot believable, but not to the point of losing interest. The female characters and the actresses (Nivedhithaa Sathish, Srilekha Rajendran, and the 8-year old whose name I couldn't find) who played them kept my eyes glued to the scene -- each one of them, across the generations, were full of spunk. However, I want to sing a special song of praise for Gabrella Sellus with her twinkling eyes and sassy personality. Cellus so piqued my interest and lit a fire of longing for many lost years without Tamil cinema and a nostalgia for the '80s that I searched online for more of her movies. As far as I can tell, there are not that many -- yet -- but she has the online presence of what I assume to be the younger generation's -- TikTok, short movies, some interviews. I couldn't decide between two of my favorite short movies and, so, I link to both here. Check them out.

Vaemba

Unmaiyarivaayo Vanna Malare

 
I found a link and recommendation to 'Relationship Deli' on New York Times' Short Film of the Day feature. I watched it 5 or 6 times already and each time I find the dialogues funnier and funnier and i pay attention to newer lines. Ladies, don't let this one pass. One of those things that makes you feel you are definitely not alone. Without saying any more, here it is: The Relationship Deli.   

 

E-Learning

After reading a NYT article on online classes by a Junior High student, I asked my own children to write 150 words about their e-learning experience. My children's school moved to e-learning in late March, after an extended spring break. I was upset that, in addition to the forced changes that schools have had to necessarily make, they tweaked the learning in more ways than we all anticipated. E-learning days were just M-W-F, with T-Th reserved for teacher prep. So three-day work weeks instead of five-day weeks. Each day supposedly began at 9:00 am and lasted only until 2:30 pm, a full two-hour reduction to each working day. Moreover, rarely were classes live, prompting my children to wake up late, go to bed late, etc. It was frustrating that not only do they stay home without any club or other extracurricular activities (understandable yes) but the actual hours spent in structured learning e-classrooms were fewer than expected. I worried that study skills and habits will deteriorate, especially for the one child who is the least studious among my three children and who was also recently diagnosed with ADHD -- the one who doesn't let her schooling interfere with her life, the one who already drives me up the wall.

In reality, it worked out OK -- not too great, but not too shabby either. My two children who are good students followed through with all their assignments and spent as many hours as usual on their schoolwork and picked up on self-teaching and lifelong learning skills. My child with ADHD actually focused on her lessons better than while in class (or so she says), likely due to being by herself, away from other students in class, and thus avoiding the distraction that afflicts her when she is surrounded by peers. On her own, she is free to make mistakes, take risks, and learn in the process, devoid of the perception of being judged for not knowing or being slow. This experience with e-learning has sparked the hope in me that this child will be a good candidate for a hybrid college life -- part online, part in-class.

Below are my children's experiences in their own words:

E-learning is certainly not the ideal method of learning. In my chemistry class, my teacher recorded a video of himself doing one of our labs in his house since we couldn't do the lab ourselves. In the video, he told us out loud the numerical data we had to write down to use for further calculations. Even though we would often be very confused on the procedure, would have to ask each other for help, and wouldn't always be certain if we had collected good data, doing labs in school taught us to think critically and be independent and helped us reinforce chemistry concepts in a different way rather than studying them in our textbook. 

In some of my classes, class discussion and teacher explanations are fundamental. In my personal finance class, my teacher normally explains financial concepts in simple terms and always gives specific examples of how finance concepts play out in all of our lives. We would watch explanatory videos but my teacher would do the important job of connecting the videos' contents back to our own lives. There would also be many opportunities to participate in class. With e-learning, we only watch the videos and submit short responses to questions. In economics, my teacher would always encourage as to read our textbook as we answered written questions, but in class he would still spend sometimes an entire period explaining a chapter's material and using references to sports, media, and celebrities to teach us economics. Although with e-learning he tries to write up explanations using popular references, it still does not have the same effect as hearing explanations out loud and being able to ask questions in-person rather than through email. Lastly, my government class is similar in this way. Earlier, my teacher would also spend most of the class talking and explaining our material, so clearly that those of us who paid attention would hardly have to read the textbook to prepare for tests. I would rarely get homework in government and it was a class I did not have to focus a lot of my out-of-class time on. Currently my teacher feels obligated to give us an assignment every day of e-learning and this is a lot more work than I am used to doing for this subject. 

E-learning is generally much easier for me and takes a much shorter time than in-person learning does. Before, I would go through an entire school day before coming home at 3:30 with a list of assignments from most classes to finish by the end of the day. Now, I wake up and start my assignments for each class right away, rather than going through what normally happens in my classes. Add the fact that e-learning is only three days a week and that makes it even easier. I have a lot more free time now and I honestly enjoy that part. I sometimes finish all of my work by mid-afternoon with the evening to enjoy. My classmates and I are experiencing senioritis and e-learning is only making it a lot easier for ourselves. But of course, there is still a price to pay when school becomes really easy and there are no tests. When I begin college in-person it will be an especially huge change for all of us.  

E-learning might not be an ideal system of education, although it is more convenient for many students like me. Yet we should be glad that we are even able to have e-learning; that we have computers and Internet, unlike people from many parts of the world. We can afford to get used to this system for a few months, stay home and practice social distancing, and make going back to school again in the near future happen.

-- Lekha Durai, May 5, 2020

I have mixed feelings about the whole e-learning thing. For one, I get to wake up a whole two hours later than I usually do for school, which is nice and all, but it’s annoying how long I usually work on e-learning each day. We’re supposed to be able to be done with e-learning every day at 2:30, but I normally finish all of my assignments around 5 every day. Some of my teachers really like to stack up on assignments for us. Live meetings are just not like regular school. Teachers try to make small talk with everyone, but it’s just awkward doing it through the screen. If the teacher decides to say something to you specifically during the live meeting, you have to quickly unmute yourself, respond, and mute yourself again. Also, if one of your family members decides to walk into your room during the live meeting and say something, it’s kind of embarrassing. Every day, whether it’s an e-learning day or not, my phone is constantly blowing up with Canvas notifications, Google Classroom notifications, and emails saying, “Larry Murphy created a new assignment” or “Jenn Hubbard” invites you to a live meeting Friday at 10:30.” In all, e-learning is not the best, but it’s not bad under the circumstances. I’d still take it over regular school any day.

-- Divya Durai, May 7, 2020

E-learning is extremely bittersweet. I love how laid-back it is; no longer do we have an overload of homework, and we are able to spend more time on activities other than school. However, we students aren’t getting the benefits of socially-interacting with classmates. In fact, the only social interaction we are getting outside of our families is by texting (and sometimes calling) those within our own friend groups, whereas in real school we have the experience of talking in person to everyone, even those who are outside of our friend groups. E-learning also creates a new kind of stress: Students have to work solely with a computer. In real school, we have a mix of sitting, standing, using a computer, using a notebook, talking, and listening. In e-learning, we are sitting in front of a computer for hours every day. Finally, with spring sports cancelled, we aren’t participating in any organized sports. This gives us no athletic accountability, so we aren’t pressured to exercise every day and only do it when we want to. So, while e-learning isn’t painful to experience for a short period of time, it definitely will be unhealthy and not fun if it is needed long-term.

-- Rahul Durai, May 6, 2020

  

Stay-at-home order

It is now nearly two months since schools closed in our state in response to COVID-19 spread. My children have e-learning and I worked from home until April 30. E-learning requires my children to be "in class" only on M-W-Fs for only about 5 hours each day. T-Th are teacher prep days and so my kids sleep in, do some homework (or not) and generally take life easier than when they were expected to be at school physically. So, I came up with different ideas of how they could be spending their time more productively. Not one was tried out or followed. Did I say my kids are teens now? 

So, after some frustrating days when they rolled their eyes at everything from board games to signing up for a Coursera course, I put my foot down and somehow wrangled a deal with them. They will each write a short essay of 150 words on a topic of my choice so I can put it up on my blog without requiring them to edit their piece. I am not sure what I promised in return -- maybe that I will stop screaming? -- but here is their first assignment for me. 

On the Thursday before spring break, my friend told me that the next day, Friday, may be our last day of high school for the year.  I wasn’t really worried or concerned unlike other people and I underestimated how much change could happen in our school district, even if change was happening in other parts of the country and in China and Italy. I never thought she would be right about it being the last day.

The number of big changes that are happening is insane. Prom is cancelled. Graduation will be virtual or pushed late into the summer. My Bharatanatyam performance cancelled. Video chats with an entire class and teacher. Piano lessons through Facetime. Videos of chemistry labs instead of doing the labs ourselves. Online college Q&A broadcasts instead of campus visits. I find it crazy that it takes a pandemic for literally the whole world to be experiencing the same thing. Even though I’m going through a lot of changes, they are nothing compared to what infected patients, life-risking medical workers, and laid-off workers are experiencing.

Throughout these weeks, I spend time with family, connect with my future college peers online, and text friends. I pay attention to the news a lot because there is no other time like now to be doing so. I learn about utterly distressing stories related to Covid-19 and just recently heard that a classmate’s relative was affected by it.

Even two months ago I would never have pictured being in this situation. Our lives might be limited right now but we must remember that we are all living through history and we are all in this together. I’m just thankful that my family and I are safe and that my community cares about protecting everyone, even if it means staying at home. 

 -- Lekha, a high school senior who, as one of Class of 2020, will be missing out on graduation parties and ceremony.

I did a lot of things during quarantine that I would’ve never done if I hadn’t been stuck at home for a long period of time. One of them is that I have baked and cooked every day. I’ve noticed that a lot of people I know are baking and cooking during quarantine. It’s a really easy and fun way to pass time in the day and it’s also a really good life skill. In addition, it makes me feel good when my family and friends enjoy the food I make. Last week, I made cake pops for eight friends and delivered them to their mailboxes. I had this idea because I saw a lot of people online writing their friends letters and sending them gifts to show their friends how much they cared about them and missed them. I decided to make cake pops because I love the ones at Starbucks and I knew they’d be a challenge for me to make on my own They took a very long time to make, since I had never made them ever before and because there were multiple flaws in the recipe I used, but I was really proud of the end product. All of my friends texted me later raving about how good they were and that made me feel really good and that the long process was worth it.

 -- Divya,who took 2 days to create the most colorful cake pops.

What I Enjoy Doing During Quarantine

          Walks:

The wind gives me small goosebumps. Millions of strands of green grass are approaching out of the ground. The road is almost empty of cars. The trees unapologetically stretch their branches as far as they can. The greyish-blue sky is quite dull. In the air, I can smell the soil and the thousands of animals in and around it. 

It is a plain old evening during Spring, and I am walking with my mom and my dog in West Lafayette. As simple and boring as it may seem, this is one of my favorite treasures during boring times like quarantine. This is the time of day where I can experience the calm, mysterious nature. Nature is a world that seems uninteresting, but when you walk through it, you can see how complicated and beautiful it is. From a distance, a tree looks nothing out of the ordinary, but when you walk under it, you can see the beauty of every branch and the thousands of lives it houses. When you walk through nature, you see a story that makes you forget all of your stresses. And humans are supposed to experience nature, for that is where they originally come from.

When on a walk with my mother, who at home seems permanently stressed with work and family conflict, I can see the inside of her. In the midst of nature, all of her stresses wash away, and I can see her invaluable knowledge, wisdom, kindness, and heart. I know that when she talks to me on a walk, she cares about me and is happy. Thus, going on a walk is one of my favorite things to do with my mother.

Walks bring my dog, Legacy, to her origins of nature, and she is at her peak of happiness. At home, she is constantly surrounded with our stresses and fights. But when on a walk in nature, when all of our stresses are gone, Legacy can come back to where she originally came from, the natural world, and experience it with us.

A walk isn’t just one hour for exercise. A walk brings you closer to those you love and closer to where all life belongs, nature.

-- Rahul, the youngest and therefore the sincerest when he puts his mind to it.