Sunday, November 22, 2015

Name a country in Europe

My son, Rahul, who was a toddler when I started this blog, is now 9 years old, loves live theatre and music, and cannot decide whether he wants to be a veterinarian (like his mother) or a musician (like his idol Paul McCartney) or both. [Word of advice from mom: Just focus on becoming Paul McCartney, kiddo!] 

But this fall he surprised himself and us all by writing comedy like his dad does. In fact, he went a step further than dad by actually enjoying being on stage. Here is the skit Rahul wrote and performed this week together with his theatre class, Act Two Comedy Troupe. His teacher, Tamara Kist, edited the skit big time and deserves credit for the final version, while dad, Melvin, gets some credit for helping with first draft.

Teacher: Class, today we're going to learn about Europe, where many of our ancestors came from.  Can anybody name a country in Europe?
[Noah raises his hand.] Yes, Noah?

Noah: Chicken. [Class giggles.]

Teacher: Chicken?! Oh, you mean Turkey?

Noah: Oh yes, Turkey. I knew it had something to do with lunch meat.

Teacher: Can anyone else name a country in Europe?
[Derek raises his hand.] Derek?
Derek: Ham?

Cole: That's a lunch meat, too! 

Teacher: Nice try, Derek. But there's no country called Ham.

Derek: But my grandfather says we came from some place that begins with the word Ham.

Teacher: Hamburg? That's a city in Germany.

Lamia: Is that where hamburgers come from?

Teacher: Actually, yes. Can anyone else name a country in Europe?

Cole: I know a country! I know one!

Teacher: Yes, Cole?

Cole: Australia!

Noah: That's a good one bro!

Cole: I know, right? That's a country, right Teach?

Teacher: Yes, it's a country. Unfortunately, it is not in Europe. 

Cole: Oh.

Rahul: Isn't that where they filmed the Sound of Music? All those rolling hills? Not that I've ever watched it or anything.

Teacher: You mean Austria. THAT is in Europe.
Lamia: Austria sounds a lot like a shortened version of Australia.

Teacher: I suppose so, Lamia.

Noah: Teacher?

Teacher: Yes, Noah?

Noah: Does Austria have short kangaroos?

Teacher: No Noah, it does not.
[Rahul raises his hand.] Yes, Rahul?

Rahul: Greece.

Teacher: Very good. Greece is a country in southeastern Europe.

Rahul: I knew that because they filmed Mama Mia there. Beaches, blue water, boats. Not that I have ever watched it.

Derek: Who would name a country grease? I hate grease with my food.

Cole: Hey, isn't that a movie with Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta?

Rahul: Yes. They sing the song Summer Nights in that. Not that I've ever seen it.

Lamia: I'm Hungry.

Teacher: Is your family from Hungary, Lamia?

Lamia: No. My stomach is growling. Is it lunch time yet?

Teacher [looks at her watch]: I guess it is. You can go eat now.

Rahul: Yeah, I feel like some turkey.

Cole: You are a turkey.

Derek: Just no grease, OK?